Am I ready for Lent? I am going to give up sweets. Is that enough? Even though I am 61, I am going to fast. Is that enough? I am going to try to give up other little things along the way like an occasional morning coffee and in general be less self-indulgent. Is that enough? I am going to try to complain less. Is that enough? I am going to go to church tomorrow morning and get the ashes for the first time in years. Is that enough?
Of course it isn’t. What good is that if I continue to commit the same old sins? What good is that if I do not seek true contrition for those sins? What good is that if I do not examine my conscience more fully every night and seek the grace to see myself just as God sees me? What good is that if I do not spend more time in prayer? What good is that if I do not try to pray with greater devotion? What good is that if I ignore the sacrament of penance? What good is that if I do not seek a greater understanding of penance? What good is that if I do not use Lent to undertake a new plan of Christian living the year round?
In the next forty days I am going to resort to a book with the prodigious title Considerations and Devout Meditations for Every Day During the Holy Season of Lent, authored by an unknown Jesuit. This book is easily obtainable in electronic form at Sancte Pater, Saints Books for Peace and Google Books. There is some heady language in the first meditation for Ash Wednesday, which I will quote in part:
I am not a man if I obey my passions; I am not a Christian if I do not combat with and overcome my passions; I am not a true penitent if I do not mortify my passions. Since my body is polluted by sin it ought to be purified by pain; and since it has part in the pleasures of the soul, it ought to glory in sharing its sorrows….
How do I know my sins are forgiven? How do I know the pain which my offenses merit is remitted? How do I know God will not punish me in my body? How do I know that he will not chastise me in my soul?…
If I spare myself, God will not spare me; if I love myself, God will not love me; if I hate myself, God will not hate me; if I punish myself God will not punish me; if I excuse nothing in myself, God will pardon all; if I excuse all things in myself, God will pardon nothing; if I am indulgent to myself, God will be severe; if I am austere and harsh with myself, God will be merciful.
Oh Christian soul! make your body a living and dying victim; mortify your passions, your senses, and your desires; mortify yourself at all times and in all places; mortify yourself with zeal, mortify yourself with discretion.
Ouch. It hurts just to read this. I get the idea that Lent meant something to this good father that it has never meant to me. Whether I agree with all these words or whether I completely accept this vision of Lent, I am certainly going to reflect upon it for many days to come.
Spirit Island 